===SPOILER ALERT===
So, I’ll just come out and say it: I was completely depressed by the movie Sucker Punch. Don’t get me wrong, I love chicks with guns (or swords, knives, rocket launchers, etc). But I still feel the need to walk away from a movie and feel “entertained”. This means don’t remind me of how horrible people can be sometimes. Don’t remind me that the world can be a terrible place with no justice for the wicked. How could that possibly be worth my hard-earned entertainment money? I want to be dazzled, thrilled, and maybe even scared from time to time –but depressed? How is that fun to experience? Ok, so here’s the basic plot of the movie: a girl is being abused so she escapes to her mind to make up her own reality where she is actually strong and powerful –those escape scenes are just fantastic BTW. But the reality that we eventually return to is simply horrible –and all but one girl lives through it. I could have accepted one or maybe two dying but all but one?! I get emotionally connected with each of the characters and then get to watch them die. Yea, that’s entertainment for you!
Azumi was another example of a “Chicks with swords” movie that could have been an amazing few hours of entertainment but practically no one other than Azumi lives thorough it to the end. Hell, the opening moments of the movie have them pair off with their best friends and they are ordered to fight each other to the death. Oh yea, that gives me a real warm feeling inside…
By the time I get to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, I’m starting to think that maybe I should just avoid all movies with sword-wielding women at all costs! I think pretty much everyone I cared about in the movie is dead by the end. Still, this movie was rewarded with a pile of Academy Awards for it’s “artistic” vision. I guess “artsy films” are just supposed to be depressing?
Ah Quentin Tarantino, you just make me smile! Now here’s a man that knows how to put a sword in the hands of a woman, and make a revenge film that doesn’t involve killing all of the people that I care about. Kill Bill is proof that you can make a quality action / revenge movie with a sword-wielding chick as the protagonist and still have me walking away happy. Now there… was that so hard?!